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Joke of the Day

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!"

"Isn't it amazing that your wallet is always so close to your ass...but somehow never smells bad?"

"Overheard a black guy asking the waitress for some crackers, so I stood up and yelled ""THATS OUR WORD!"""

"Whats grey and comes in pints? Elephants"

"I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like."

"What is the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"

"I finally threw away my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust."

"What did the super spy polyatomic ion say when he walked into the bar? The name's Bond, Covalent Bond"

"All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river."

"My son told me a girl was yelling at him and he just sat there wondering what he did wrong. Imagine, at 9, being so ready for marriage."