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Joke of the Day

"I treat women like I do numbers.... If they're under 16, do them in your head."

"Kidnappers: We have your husband. Send us $10,000 if you ever want to see him again. Me: Where I should drop off his clothes?"

"My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.."

"A car made of French bread just raced past me. It was a Baguetti Veyron."

"I like my beer like I enjoy my violence. Domestic."

"I don't think I could be a mom. Listening to another person cry all night just seems awful & I wouldn't want to impose that on a baby."

"Knock knock (Me -Knock knock) (You-Whos there) (Me-Dew) (You-Drew who) (Me-Drew pecock) Say it fast ^"

"Native Americans had a word for ""Bad Hunter"" Vegetarian."

"Technical truths: according to chemistry, alcohol actually is a solution!!"

"What do you call a black man flying plane? A pilot you racist."