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Joke of the Day

"I tried to break into the Apple Store but... ...the backdoor was locked and they didn't have any windows"

"Two drunk Man Two drunks are in a bar. First one: ""My wife is an angel"" Second one: ""You are lucky! Mine is still alive."""

"when you write a word and it looks wrong but it's right and you just sit there and contemplate life"

"My resolution for the new year is... 1080p"

"According to my calorie intake, I just need to be on the treadmill for 3 years today."

"Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign ..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term"

"a man walks into a bar he had a concussion and died"

"My cat sits on my lap while I use the bathroom She cuddles the shit out of me."

"I've fallen in love with a fellow ventriloquist's doll. But she's already spoken for."

"I can't handle the pressure of competitions. Even in eating races I choke!"