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Joke of the Day

"If I had a penny for every time you made me feel worthless; I'd be worth something by now."

"What do you call a cow...? What do you call a cow that's missing a leg? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow that's masturbating? Beef Strokin-Off"

"[vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* ""Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere"

"who said math is the universal language? hey, numbers-- speak english!"

"How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket"

"The Mafia have decided to update it's operations to keep up with internet trading. Their first venture is called Pay-Up-Pal"

"When a wife is laughing at her husband's jokes, it means they have guests at home."

"I was dismissed from my responsibilities as church usher because I kept using finger guns to point out available seats. * pew pew *"

"Question: How many men does it take to mop the floor? Answer: None it's a women's job."

"Why doesn't the U.S. government allow students to visit North Korea? They become victims of youth-in-asia!"