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Joke of the Day

"[vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* ""Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere"

"what do you call a gay guy on roller skates? Rolaids"

"What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security."

"I asked a new zealander how many sexual partners he has had. He fell asleep counting."

"TIL The queen bee has sex with up to 40 males per day. Just like your mom."

"Some relationships today will end over a ""Like"" on Facebook."

"Did you know that Helen Kellet was born near Troy, Alabama? I guess that's why they called her ... yhe little deaf girl who couldn't see neither"

"Why is pound cake called pound cake? Because it pounds your anus!"

"So confused right now, don't know whether to join a gym or buy Photoshop."

"I went to subway today, and they gave me the wrong sandwich oops, wrong sub."