210701

Joke of the Day

"[vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* ""Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere"

"If I know anything about girls, it's that they appreciate privacy. Trust me I've read a ton of diaries."

"Shortest joke ever? ""Pretentious? Moi?"""

"What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron"

"What's a mortician's least favorite day on the job? Bring Your Kid to Work Day"

"Why did Hitler kill himself... ... Because he was being charged for the gas bill"

"What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? ""Are you sure it's mine?"""

"Chuck Norris *hates* Raymond."

"Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer? Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)"

"HR: Did you eat all the mints that were in my jar? me: No [some mints fall out of my mouth] HR: me: Yes [more mints fall out of my mouth]"