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Joke of the Day

"How I got over my procastination ... I will tell you later"

"I love how science fiction movies skip right to the fiction part."

"Nice try, fat girls ordering a salad on the first date. Nice try."

"Wat does it take to bring down a tower theses days What does it take to bring down a tower these days 4 terrorists and a 747"

"I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don't. So, from now on I'm only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen."

"Local Drowning A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented ""He was too far out, man."""

"I wish I was from Finland so when people asked if I was Finnish I could say ""no, in fact, I'm just getting started"""

"The first rule of Running Late Club is get stuck behind a Prius."

"Before I get out of an elevator, I hug every single person in there with me and whisper in their ear ""You've taught me so much."""

"Three cows are standing in a field. Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow!"