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Joke of the Day

"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But, if roses were called ""herpes"" they'd make terrible Valentine's Day gifts."

"Sometimes I use big words I don't understand to make myself look more photosynthesis"

"Printing... Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"Why did the Pakistani cook get fired? He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite."

"*strums guitar* This is a little ditty I've been working on called ""Stop putting nuts in the god damn brownies"" Hope you like it."

"I almost didn't remember today was September 11th Then I felt bad, because I said I'd never forget."

"Jesus knock tentatively on God's door, enters, and God says..... Now lets go through this one more time....What exactly did you tell them again?"

"A woman marries a man..... A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."

"Guess how I spell distraction? R-E-D-D-I-T"

"How does the vicar explore the Internet? With the church mouse."