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Joke of the Day

"How many Chauvinists does it take to Change a Lightbulb? None, because chauvinists can't change anything."

"Recent study shows 9 out of 10 men prefer looks rather than personality in women 1 out of 10 men prefer the other 9."

"I beat a Prius today... Thank goodness I had on my running shoes."

"[getting out of prison after 10 years] GUARD: *handing me a paper bag* here are ur things ME: did none of u monsters feed my tamagotchi"

"Q: What is the definition of a major seventh? A: A violist playing octaves."

"Alanis Morissette: It's like 10000 spoons when all you need is a knife. Spoons R Us clerk: Ma'am, nobody asked you to shop here."

"Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? 3-year-old: A monster truck. I don't think insurance is going to cover that surgery."

"Been chatting with this 14 year old girl. Real sexy and flirty. Things are going great, but now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How fucking cool is that for someone her age."

"What did Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both had curds in their whey."

"All I did was walk by an Abercrombie and Fitch and now my name is Trent, my shirt is off, and I'm really into shell necklaces."