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Joke of the Day
"What looks like half a sandwich? The other half."
Next Joke
"I walked up to a girl and said, ""Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums."" ""Erm...what?"" she asked. I said, ""I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me."""
"There's an iPhone app that scans your face and tells you how ugly you are. You don't need this. If your phone doesn't ring at all, you're ugly."
"Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the paracetemol."
"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."
"What's a stoners favorite marker? A Highlighter"
"What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet? Urine trouble."
"What do you call a boxer who comes home after a fight, to beat up his wife? Overtime."
"Did you hear about the adult entertainment business for religious visionaries? It was really successful - the prophets just kept on coming"
"The cashier at McDonald's was more than happy to warm up some Diet Coke for my baby's bottle."