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Joke of the Day

"If you play Apple's Beatle announcement backwards it says ""I can't believe you don't know how to download music illegally"""

"[me after 1 minute of jogging] this is good, this was a good decision [me after 3 minutes of jogging] life is suffering, there is no god"

"I bought some dog scented cologne the other day... Now I get all the bitches."

"What do you call a nose that can see into the future? Nostrildamus"

"What do you give to an elephant with diarrhea? Plenty of room."

"My doctor just gave me some good news about my prostate.... ...He gave me the thumbs up"

"I like my men like I like my farts. Wet and old."

"Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!"

"What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off? NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!"

"I just think there are a lot more animals out there we could be eating."