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Joke of the Day

"I bought some dog scented cologne the other day... Now I get all the bitches."

"Dance like nobody's watching. Because nobody is. Who do you think you are, Baryshnikov? Get over yourself."

"Yo momma's so dumb... ...she voted for Trump."

"A skinny guy with a 6-pack is like a fat chick with t*ts. It doesn't count"

"What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms!"

"""Do you love me, Mulla?"" whispered the girl. ""Of course I do,"" Mulla Nasrudin whispered back. ""Will you marry me then?"" she asked. ""Let's not change the subject?"" said Nasrudin."

"Why is a fish easy to weigh ? Because it has its own scales !"

"*about to rob a bank* ""Okay, lets do this. Everybody, grab a gun"" i dont need one ""why not"" i already have two *kisses biceps*"

"I showed my iPad to my iPod, and he was all ""what's up fatty""."

"'911 HELP SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE' uh ok, wow. not loving your tone. why don't you hang up, lose the 'tude and lets try that again, pal"