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Joke of the Day

"Why was the young boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face"

"There's both a McDonald's and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life."

"I thought I had a Twitter Crush but his wife thought otherwise"

"Stop me if you've heard this already. -said no kid ever"

"*Enters $100 daily Fitbit challenge* *Pays marathon runner $20 to wear my Fitbit* *Buys $80 worth of donuts*"

"My favorite deleted scene from Lord of the Rings is when Bilbo & Frodo discover they have a long lost hipster cousin called Douche Baggins."

"How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD? It took the bus."

"What do you call a group of Chlamydia bacteria? An applause...."

"You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"How did the hipster burn their tongue? They drank their tea before it was cool."