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Joke of the Day

"This no more tears shampoo sucks. I've been feeding it to my friends kid and he's still crying. nnnnMust be doing something wrong."

"Knock Knock Who's there Daisy Daisy who Daisy me rollin', they hatin'"

"I just wished a Bride-to-be good luck on her first marriage. She didn't seem to appreciate my sincerity."

"I think having an abortion really brings out the kid in me"

"TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features."

"To anyone who has a problem with pedophiles: Grow up."

"A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles. It was about bloody time."

"What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital? With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell."

"This Prius we rented is pretty sweet. It can go 0-60 in 6 hours."

"Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories? Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy."