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Joke of the Day

"A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles. It was about bloody time."

"Baby are you a library book? Because I'm probably going to forget about you under my bed until long after you're due."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"I want to start a kosher hotdog company And call it Anne Franks..."

"Why are dentists usually always male? Because they like to be in other peoples mouths."

"So I beat a Russian Grand Master once. With his own cane."

"Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites? Because they can lie about their age!"

"I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying"

"Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house? He's snowed in."

"Prince: ""The slipper fits! You're the girl I met!"" Girl: ""I wasn't even at the ball. This is a common shoe size."" Prince: ""YOU'RE THE GIRL!"""