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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an ""I"" Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an ""I"". Always put 'am' after an ""I"". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and.... ....I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you probably never heard of it."

"NASA sends out a probe to Uranus Geeks around the world giggle."

"My girlfriend just texted me, 'thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative Anybody know what ternative means?"

"How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds? Marry her."

"Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman? Wrong, Batman always wins. &nbsp; Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old."

"Madonna is tryin to get Spice Girls back together. Only condition is she gets to join them. They gonna call her Old Spice."

"I feel old whenever someone tells me they were born in the 90's."

"I just watched a documentary about hydroelectricity Best dam program I've seen in a long time."