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Joke of the Day

"I had consensual sex with a dementia sufferer... It was like HBO's Lost, it was okay when it started but by the end of it no one knew what was happening."

"If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed... Oh wait a minute he already does."

"If you run through an airport yelling ""Marybeth I love you don't go!"" then you can cut through so many lines of people who like romance."

"What do you call Atheism? A non-prophet organization."

"What is green and smells like paint? Green paint."

"Did you hear about the president that cheated on his wife with a piece of fruit? He was impeached"

"Why was jesus great at rock climbing? He could find foot and hand holes"

"What's the best part about being an alcoholic stand-up comedian? If you're good you get laughs, and if you're bad you get booze."

"Why did the guy stick guano up his butt? Cause he was batshit crazy"

"What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism? An offer you can't understand."