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Joke of the Day

"Luigi: You got your own land, world & galaxy. Can I have Mario Mansion? Mario: ok fine [under breath] gonna put a bunch of ghosts in it tho"

"Bjork Q: What does Bjork do when she's horny? A: She watches pjorn."

"Snotty bitch in the elevator was looking down her nose at me. So I had to ask her, ""Lady, can I smell your pussy?"" Indignantly, she said, ""No, you may not!"" ""Oh, well, then it must be your feet!"""

"I swear to god I'm not harassing you, I'm really out of shape that's just my labored breathing"

"Simba was moving too slowly So i told him to Mufasa"

"""What does the fox say?"" Whatever the Rupert Murdoch tells it to."

"Daaaaamn boy. Are you an Adobe update? Cause you keep showing up and I still don't want you."

"Roses are red... Harambes in heaven, George Bush had advanced knowledge of 9/11."

"Why does The Little Mermaid wear seashells? Cuz she grew out of her B shell *im so sorry*"

"I just heard the first song made by artificial intelligence You could say it was a real Siri-nade"