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Joke of the Day
"Why was simba grounded? Because he was lion! Please. Please kill me.."
Next Joke
"Once in your life, you'll come across a special person that makes you think the prison food will be worth it."
"Rules to live by: 1. Be kind to strangers 2. Don't cheat on your taxes 3. Everything in moderation 4. Bury the body at sea"
"Have you seen my digital boat? Oh wait, its syncing."
"""How's the wine?"" ""House red?"" ""Yes."" *sips, swills, spits* ""Wow it's got too much body."" ""Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."""
"Two fish are sitting in a a tank. One says to the other, ""You get the guns. I'll drive."""
"What do you call one chickpeas smashing another? Hummuscide... *italics* gentleman bows"
"Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now"
"Where are the Halloween jokes?"
"In my local park there are three holes in the ground... Well, well, well."