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Joke of the Day

"Once in your life, you'll come across a special person that makes you think the prison food will be worth it."

Next Joke
 
"I can't find my lucky sweatpants. Now I'm going to totally bomb this job interview."
"Who proofread Hitler's speeches? A grammar nazi"
"Driving isn't about making the moves you want, it's about preventing others from making the moves they want."
"Well kids, when a man and woman love each other very much, he erects a monument for her, but in his pants."
"You know urine trouble, when You see members of the KKK, Black Lives Matter And Westboro Baptist Church together at the RNC... They are bound to piss each other off."
"What do you call a girl that sleeps with you for your Adderall? A total attention whore."
"Teacher: welcome to health class Me: my friend said you can get a girl pregnant by kissing her? Teacher: sir please just mop the floor"
"According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ."
"""Dear God, make me a bird, so I can..."" *turns into penguin* ""DAMMIT I WASN'T FINISHED!"""