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Joke of the Day

"You don't have to study for a pregnancy test... but I have heard there's a lot of cramming that goes on before the exam."

"What do you call an Irish woman who stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture"

"He died doing what he loved: meeting people on Craigslist to buy furniture."

"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"

"Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point."

"Why do LGBT men typically have their whisker-hairs depilated? So their skin won't feel so abrucive"

"Never trust a psychic wearing a band-aid, they should have seen that shit coming."

"If I had Unlimited resources.. I would adopt midget babies from different parts of the world, and raise them in a secluded plot of land somewhere and raise them to believe I am God. :)"

"There is a vast difference between an underdog and a loser, the first one has a real chance to win."

"What does a communist cat say Mao"