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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying she's a slut but she's had more people inside her than the statue of liberty!"

"[tortoise arguing with his gf] ""FINE IM LEAVING"" FINE [6 minutes later] are you going or not? ""THIS IS AS FAST AS I CAN GO KAREN"""

"Did you know the inventor of the vibrator heard voices saying... ""If you build it, they will come."""

"Did you hear about the lumberjack who was looking oking for help? He went to town and found another feller."

"How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant? Six... three on the back and three in the trunk!"

"*dad bursts into my room and puts me in a headlock* ""Why didn't you 'Like' the Grumpy Cat meme I posted on Facebook, you son of a bitch?"""

"Me: Mistakes my own hair for a spider at least once a day & screams Also me: [watching Criminal Minds] I could totally be a cop"

"What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger? A gingerbreadmon."

"What's the Cuban national anthem? Row, row, row your boat"

"What's the most confusing day in Harlem? Fathers Day!"