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Joke of the Day

"Meat, eggs, and a blow job: which one doesn't belong? A blow job, because you can beat your eggs, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job!"

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"Where do the good guys go? The friend zone..."
"Whats the difference between an arts degree and a large pizza A large pizza can feed a family of 4"
"what do you call a deer without eyes? no eyedeer.."
"I opened the door and said ""Honey, I'm home..."", she didn't reply She just stood still in the glass jar."
"[Arguing with a guy over who's tougher] *takes toothpick from mouth* ""When I started chewing this it was a full grown spruce."""
"What is Vladimir Putins favorite food? Peaches and Krim"
"What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project? Krautsourcing"
"[getting pulled over] Me: R u a bear cop? Bear cop: Is that a problem? Me: As long as you're not a maul cop *mauls me for bad pun*"
"Why is Jesus gay? Ahhh men"