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Joke of the Day

"Why do the French like eating snails? Because they can't stand fast food!"

"[son hands me a picture he painted a school] That's great. Let's just put that in the 'maybe has epilepsy' pile."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A pachydermatologist."

"What famous movie did the hamburger meat think of when they took it out of the freezer? They Fry Who Cam in from the Cold!"

"What's the difference between a painting and Jesus. You only require one nail to put up the painting."

"Keep saying yellow and soon enough It'll sound like you're saying gullible."

"TIL that there is a subreddit dedicated to praising Nancy Grace for her contributions to modern medical science. LOL! Not really, no. She is a bad person, and should feel bad."

"What does a stegosaurus eat off of? His plates. -Jude; My five-year-old son"

"I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones"

"This salad isn't going to toss itself. *winks* - Things you shouldn't say as you pass food around the Thanksgiving table :("