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Joke of the Day
"Commas make all the difference He was fucking up, until the end. He was fucking, up until the end."
Next Joke
"What do dyslexic zombies eat? BRIANS!! Everyone else is safe"
"What's a sorority girls favorite camera? A Like uh"
"Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits."
"Why Don't Santa Claus and Misses Claus have children? Because Santa only comes once a year and when he does its down the chimney."
"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man ...so I can get a better girlfriend. -Comedian Anthony Jeselnik"
"I've pre-planned my funeral to include a 32 minute montage of the times I've accidentally waved hello to someone waving to someone behind me."
"Son, i don't think you are cut out to be a mime. Son: Was it something I said?"
"I ran 56k today... It took be forever to get to my home page cause dial-up's a bitch."
"Apparently when your wife asks you to get your toddler off your bed she doesn't mean knock him off with a pillow"