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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than finding your first grey pubic hair...... ....finding it between your teeth."

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"

"How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? None they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders."

"Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich"

"Avril Lavigne: He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Me: Yes you could. That is incredibly vague."

"Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget."

"What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant? Are ya?"

"I met my statistics teacher at the store today... What are the odds!"

"A chicken crosses the road... ..and meets 007 on the other side. ""What's your name?"" Asks the chicken. ""Bond, James Bond,"" Says 007. ""And how about you?"" ""Ken,"" Says the chicken. ""Chic Ken."""

"STOP HONKING! IF I DRIVE ANY FASTER THE TINY LIZARD THAT HITCHED A RIDE ON MY HOOD IS GONNA FALL TO HIS DEATH. HAVE SOME COMPASSION, PEOPLE."