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Joke of the Day

"I can't wait for the season finale of... ...America."

"The best pick-up line for college students Hey baby, I'm only a few thousand dollars in debt!"

"How can you tell if a person's a vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common? Liberal Arts Degrees."

"I'm like Superman. When people see me out in public I'm always in the same outfit."

"Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor."

"I made a shitty voodoo doll, once... ...and all the limbs fell off. Worked out for me, though."

"In no particular order = In exact order, but I don't want to piss off the people I put at the end."

"Gross. This salad tastes like pee and vegetables. Don't ask me how I know what vegetables taste like."

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!"