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Joke of the Day

"ROOMMATE: While I'm away, can you get some mice to feed my pet snake? ME: Sure [later] ME [to mice] Come on fellas, pls just cook something"

"The filling in fortune cookies tastes like paper.."

"What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung."

"I asked my wife if anything was wrong and she said ""yes"" and I'm completely lost, I've never played the game like this before."

"missy the lost cat http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html"

"Everybody Knows. No one should have been upset when Whitney Houston died in her bathtub. Everybody knows black people can't swim."

"I have so much money it's kind of gay Because I'm rolling in Bills"

"My sister-in-law had a miscarriage Does that raise or lower her kill-death ratio?"

"Why was the UKIP voter angry? Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)"

"My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life."