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Joke of the Day

"Jesus walks into an inn With a Cross and some nails. He says to the Innkeeper, ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it's from the newsgroup server."

"I want to believe Pistorius...... ... But it's pretty clear his argument doesn't have a leg to stand on"

"*Pizza Hut job interview* ""Do you own a shitty car and smoke pot?"" No sir. ""You will."""

"There once was a man named Dave... He kept a dead whore in a cave, she was missing a tit and she smelled like shit, but look at the money he saved!"

"Had a fight with an erection today... I beat it single handedly."

"What did the cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis."

"How do you spell elephant ? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t ""That's not how the dictionary spells it"" ""You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"""

"I should've listened to my dad. Friend: What did he say? Me: How the fuck would I know? I didn't listen."

"Science teacher: What happened when electricity was first discovered? Fred: Someone got a nasty shock."