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Joke of the Day

"How do you outrun a horse, tiger, lion, and elephant that are chasing you. Get your drunk ass off of the merry-go-round."

"What do you call a bus filled with white people? A twinkie."

"To find a prince, you're supposed to kiss a frog. Not screw the whole pond..."

"Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit? The bass was pegged, his hook was just right, and it made all the girls shake they booty."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopuss."

"She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a very strong person who goes round picking up shops."

"Used way too much moisturizer and I may have to call in slick tomorrow."

"A Man was Fishing in the Jungle After a while another angler came to join him. ""Have you had any bites?"" asked the second man. ""Yes, lots,"" replied the first one, ""but they were all mosquitoes."""

"Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein."

"I like my women the same way I like my guns... Black and oily with a sensitive trigger."