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Joke of the Day

"My mom let the street raise me, which is why the only things I'm really good at are letters, numbers, and talking like Cookie Monster."

"What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider? You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry"

"Hey, look over there, is that a bobble head doll of Donald Trump? No, that's Donald Trump"

"Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. #badpickupline"

"Why is NTFS healthy? Because it's FAT free."

"Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces."

"Wanna know how i know i'm getting laid tonight? Because i am stronger then you."

"I like my women how I like my coffee without another man's penis in it."

"Good in bed? So I was asked by a girl recently if I was good in bed. My reply: ""I know I'm good in bed because I'm always satisfied!"""

"What's blue and sings alone? - Dan Ackroyd."