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Joke of the Day

"Good in bed? So I was asked by a girl recently if I was good in bed. My reply: ""I know I'm good in bed because I'm always satisfied!"""

"hi yes i'd like a vodka salad please ""you mean a bloody mary"" yeah yeah whatever just hurry it up"

"A joke the owner of the pizzeria I work at told me while listening to Beethoven. Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? Because it wouldn't stop saying ""Bach, Bach, Bach."""

"I once poured an entire bag of potato chips on my girlfriend. I wanted to ruffle her feathers."

"Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers!"

"They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay.... I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*."

"""You're so cold, I wished you would just disappear!"" His temperature then dropped to 0 Kelvin and he disappeared"

"Smooth Farmer Whats a farmers best dating advice? A tractor"

"What do you call a clever monster? Frank Einstein."

"It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged."