55278

Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and red all over? Charlotte, NC"

"Today I saw a Japanese man rushing to the elevator The door was closing, so I held it open for him. He replied with, ""Sank you"". Why did he have to mention Pearl Harbor like that?"

"Yes, mother, I have gained weight. No, it was not appropriate to point it out by pinching my muffin top in front of thirty people."

"Want to hear my impression of an extractor fan? I used to like tractors, but I don't anymore."

"Hi! This is my first time in a Fitness Center. How do I start? Personal Trainer: By putting down that Pizza slice!"

"Kristen gave Sally 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Todd gave Sally 5 flowers and 3 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? Cancer."

"Henry Miller said, ""The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature."" That explains ""Kim is a kunt"" on this restroom wall."

"What happened before the Big Bang? The Big Foreplay."

"[end of the night]*hand running through her hair, pulls out a lizard* ME: no not again *she unzips jacket, collapses into a pile of lizards*"

"*accidentally likes a hot girl's photo of a sandwich from 3 years ago*"