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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear my impression of an extractor fan? I used to like tractors, but I don't anymore."

"HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake."

"Scientists: Don't freak out about Ebola. Everyone: *Panic!* Scientists: Freak out about climate change. Everyone: LOL! Pass me some coal."

"There's 2 types of people in this world... Ones that pee in the shower And liars"

"I do this cool trick when you introduce yourself where I concentrate on literally anything else in the universe except your name."

"I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no. He just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair."

"Every time I think I've got the perfect family they escape."

"Optometry jokes I just started optometry school and I'm in desperate need of optometry jokes. Any suggestions?"

"Just got kicked out of Walmart for having a concealed belly button."

"My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour."