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Joke of the Day

"3 blind mice walk into a bar... ...but they are unaware of their surroundings so to draw humour from their situation would be exploitative."

"I want to ask you out, but I've got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots. And.."

"The other day I saw a brother holding his sister's hand while walking How...touching."

"What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It was wound up already."

"My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool."

"If I ever lost my phone I'd rather just start a new life in another city."

"X is An Independent Variable That don't need no Y."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a book? A book has papers."

"So a mexican says... Fuck weed, Legalize my mom."

"Why do accountants make the best serial killers? Because they're calculating."