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Joke of the Day

"How does a potato keep up with it's friends? With Google chromosome+"

"If there's a zombie apocalypse and you see one zombie taking a nap, that will be me"

"You've got a face even an Instagram filter couldn't fix."

"What's a doctor's favorite bird? An apothecanary"

"If you are cornered by raccoons in the wild then place your thumb and index finger tips together- make a bandit mask. They will accept you."

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis [cough], father [ah], ladder"

"I adopted a highway. Don't tell anyone I said this, but I don't love him as much as I love my biological highways."

"Always been a favourite of mine. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"If ISIS would really like the world to take notice of their intentions they should kill a lion."

"People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs."