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Joke of the Day

"How to get holy water? Boiling the hell out of it"

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"Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost the huile d'olive"
"Don't ever mistake me for someone who hasn't flirted with danger. I've got bitten by a Penguin. Twice."
"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fruit salad"
"My son said he wanted to get into organized crime when he grew up. ""Government or private sector?"""
"There 2 types of people in this world, Those who can count and those who can't. I guess i can count"
"Physics 101: Heat expands objects.. You're fat.. you're hot"
"Who do you call when you need a dock fixed? A docktor."
"Bought some sneakers off of a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!"
"What do you call a veterinarian that can only work on one animal? A doctor."