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Joke of the Day

"""Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice."""

"Job Interview I was at a job interview and the interviewer asks ""where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" I reply ""sorry, I don't have 2020 vision."""

"What Makes a Penis and a Rubik's Cube Similar? They both get harder the more you play with it."

"Q: What's the definition of a teenager? A: God's punishment for enjoying sex."

"Did you know the government can drug test our water supply?! That's why I never piss near a toilet. Instead - I piss on your mom. Shes by the trash.... (not the toilet)"

"I was going to tell a mean joke about EMT's but I didn't wanna get... ... carried away."

"The cannibal nervously decided to try his first human meal Much to his dismay, he got cold feet"

"What do you call a foreign born communist running for President? Ted Cruz"

"Every Adele song is about lasagna."

"A man walks into a zoo... ...the only animal in the whole entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."