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Joke of the Day

"I saw a kidnapping this afternoon.. so i woke i'm up. Hahaha"

"The worst time to hear I told you so is when you end up saying it to yourself."

"I feel like a battery because I am not included in anything :("

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr Dre"

"Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking? They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it."

"So a guy goes to a bratwurst convention... So a guy goes to a bratwurst convention hoping to pick up some chicks. He went home alone though; the place was a total sausage fest."

"Lying on a hospital bed, I pull you in close, and with my dying breath, I whisper, ""Name one of your Pokemon after me"""

"What is the worst part of a prostate exam? Feeling the doctor's hands on your shoulders."

"Date: ""You're very tall! Do you play basketball?"" Me: ""You're very fat. Are you a sumo wrestler?"""

"*Jesus multiplies a loaf of bread for the masses* From the back: Actually I'm gluten free now. Jesus: ughhh, someone get me a fish"