196650

Joke of the Day

"Lying on a hospital bed, I pull you in close, and with my dying breath, I whisper, ""Name one of your Pokemon after me"""

"Two hippies, a man and a woman, fell off a cliff at the same time. Which one died first? Neither. It was a tie-die."

"I wanted to turn my life around so I tried to stop memeing all the time... ...It made my life memeingless"

"Overheard this at Grand Canyon. ""Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:"" To protect the chicken plants"""

"Too drowsy to operate heavy machinery. Moving on to light firearms."

"Why couldn't the anarchist draw a straight line? He didn't have a ruler!"

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just kick the shit out of the room for being black."

"How does a musician make a million dollars? They start with 2 million."

"""Do you love me more than you love sleep?"" ""I can't answer now. It's time for my nap!"""

"My girlfriend reminds me of Chernobyl... There's nuclear fallout when she over-reacts!"