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Joke of the Day

"Me: Quit talking down to me like I don't know shit about technology! 12yo: Sorry... Me: That's ok. Now fix the router."

"And then Satan said, ""save time ~ respond to her text with a K."""

"Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games? Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border."

"Where do poor Italians live? In the spaghetto..."

"I was offered a part in a silent film. I'm speechless."

"Why did the turkey cross the road ? To prove he wasn't chicken"

"I've been stealing retainers and throwing them in a swamp so that in 1000 or so year archeologists think it's an ancient nerd burial ground"

"None of my coworkers get why I have fishbowl with no fish. It's because fish can't survive in my secret reservoir of vodka."

"So a gun expert has a seizure His neurons were firing with BOTH barrels."

"Why did the women's studies major go to college? To study a broad"