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Joke of the Day

"Me: Quit talking down to me like I don't know shit about technology! 12yo: Sorry... Me: That's ok. Now fix the router."

"How do you know Kurt Cobain didn't have dandruff? A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch."

"I'll never forget my wife's last words ""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"""

"The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother."

"Why is Harry Potter so popular? The story grows on you."

"It's uncomfortable talking about how i got my cat fixed last week... But sometimes you gotta call a spayed a spayed"

"What was shaken and is now stirred? Haiti."

"""Never go to bed angry"" is some solid advice if you want to stay up until 3am fighting"

"Set my phone to change K to Okay!! so I don't look rude. Now it looks like I'm all excited about stupid shit, and I'm Okay!! with that."

"Excuse me, do you like graves? Yeah, I dig 'em."