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Joke of the Day

"I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

Next Joke
 
"I took a piano lesson with Elton John... He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool."
"wwow i dropped my phone with my twitter open and people crowded around reading it and applauding and women threw roses and kissed my feet"
"A short poem for y'all... ""*Roses are black* *Violets are black* *Everything's black* *Even I am black*"" - Stevie Wonder"
"I cried when I cut up onions... Onions was a good dog."
"*Jesus drinking at a bar* *jesus orders another drink* ""jesus you're too drunk I can't give you anymore"" Kan I jst haev a water? ""nice try"""
"What comes after 69? Student: mouthwash teacher: get out"
"Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?"
"I hear China has abandoned it's one child policy, which is great news. I never could eat just the one"
"Ugh, I am swamped at work today. *stares at puppies on the Internet for 3 hours"