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Joke of the Day
"A mosquito walks into gang territory looking for blood... All he finds are cripz."
Next Joke
"How much coke DID Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men."
"TIL there are a lot of #1 rules for being a prostitute"
"TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport... The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking ""Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"" I replied ""No, only guns."""
"So a silver mine collapsed in Germany... So a silver mine collapsed in Germany, I guess you could say that's one mein fuhrer. I don't know if that exists or not, but as far as I know, I made that up."
"A Russian walks into an Ukrainian bar... And farts. The Russian says, ""I'm sorry for Putin."""
"In my old age, I am like a fine wine... Fifteen percent alcohol by volume."
"What do Catholics priests and Justin Beiber have in common? They're both fucking immature arseholes."
"What is your favorite ""There are two kinds of people..."" joke? My favorite is ""There are two kinds of people...those who cheat at 7-up, and god damned liars."""
"*rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems..."