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Joke of the Day

"What do Catholics priests and Justin Beiber have in common? They're both fucking immature arseholes."

"You know what they say about killing bees... It's a real buzzkill."

"Why was the teacher cross-eyed? He couldn't control his pupils."

"What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars."

"So the Mayor of London Boris Johnson has knocked a 10 year old boy to the ground... Then again... wouldn't be the first time a British MPs tackle has hurt an under aged child would it?"

"A good woman is easy to find... You just have to go to the cemetery and dig one up."

"2 scientists walk into a bar... The first one says ""I'll have some H2O"", the second one says ""I'll have some H2O too"". The bartender looks at them and says ""Are you two idiots talking about water?"""

"Couldn't get into the library the other day... ... it was fully booked."

"Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word, but usually it's antidisestablishmentarianism."

"ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG'S MOUTH: who's a good boy DOG: your mom ME: please take this seriously"