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Joke of the Day

"If I was in a room with Trump and HRC....... and I had a gun and one bullet.... I'd shoot myself in the head...."

"Man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. The husband came back with a gun and shot the man in bed. The wife replied ""this is why you don't have anymore friends."""

"I thought my son would be glad and appreciate that I got him a trampoline But nooo, all he does is sit and cry in his wheelchair all day"

"I sometimes hump random trees in hopes one will ejaculate Keebler cookies."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkings in a house fire."

"My dick is not small. It is perfectly shaped according to ancient greek standards."

"Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball"

"Selling chewing gum. Mint condition."

"What is the difference between a prison guard and a member of Congress One interacts with felons, half of which are probably innocent of crimes, and the other works on Capitol Hill."

"""Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks."" --William Shakespeare (i think)"