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Joke of the Day

"If I was in a room with Trump and HRC....... and I had a gun and one bullet.... I'd shoot myself in the head...."

"Intensive care toddler One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass..."

"What do you call Israelis that overly spray tan? Orange Jews!"

"What's the worst animal to play cards with? A cheetah. Because it'll rip your fucking face off."

"What would be the worst meal for a football wife? OJ and Rice"

"I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me ""sweetie"" too."

"Why is it so cold in San Francisco? Giant fans."

"""Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway? What could go wrong?"" ~My son apparently"

"Friends with an ex? I don't even want to be friends with my friends."

"So crap that it's good (I hope) Whats white and cant climb trees? A fridge -_-"