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Joke of the Day
"How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow? He looks for fresh prints."
Next Joke
"Girl: ""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"" Guy: ""Both, now get in the van."""
"What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money."
"My blonde girlfriend broke up with me today. She was upset at me getting a text from Amber Alert"
"There have been a lot of pro nazi posts on here lately Anne Frankly I'm sick of it"
"Ladies: If I hit on you please don't panic, I am a bachelor and that's what bachelors do."
"Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?"
"Justin Biebers music saved my life I was in a coma after a bad car accident and the nurse decided to start playing some Justin bieber... I woke up and turned that shit off."
"[dont let him know you're a sponge] Waitress: *spills drink on table* GERONIMO *bellyflops on table* SPRAY SOME CLEANER I GOT THIS oh damn"
"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas... My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas. They got me a Rolex. They clearly misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch."""