54616

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the midget, fortune teller who was wanted by the police? It was a small medium at large."

"Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming ""Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"""

"What do ghosts do when they're sad? They get in an elevator to lift their spirits."

"I just saw a guy with a mustache exactly like my grandpa's. I doubt it was his though; grandpa never let anyone borrow his mustache."

"So, my feminist cousin is diabetic and recently, her legs were amputated... ...safe to say, she won't be jumping to conclusions anytime soon."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic who tried to commit suicide? He jumped behind an oncoming train."

"But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more to be the man who walked 1000 miles to get away from you. I want a divorce."

"[consoling widow] I was the one who put the kick me sign on your husband. I had no idea you owned a horse that can read"

"A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender looks right at him and says, "" Hey! Don't you go starting anything!"""

"""They say you should dress for the job you want..."" ""Then why the fuck are you naked?!?"" ""Because I want a blow job"""