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Joke of the Day

"So, my feminist cousin is diabetic and recently, her legs were amputated... ...safe to say, she won't be jumping to conclusions anytime soon."

"White people are only thinking about one of 5 things at any given moment: 1. skiing 2. sadness 3. edamame 4. revenge 5. Greek yogurt."

"People only hate jury duty because they have to go to a courthouse. Let em stay home and they'll tweet who's guilty all day."

"How do you foil a plan? (p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln"

"In spanish... it only takes one to tengo."

"Socialism or Communism are the only path to evolution, and Capitalism is the root of all evil. > Sent from my iPhone 7"

"I slip the nun 30 bucks and real quiet-like ask to see the ""strong orphans."""

"THREE LAWS OF SCIENCE: 1. IF IT SMELLS BAD IT'S CHEMISTRY 2. IF ITS MUSHY IT'S BIOLOGY 3.IF IT DOESNT WORK ITS PHYSICS"

"Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centred lives already in progress."

"What do you call a broken angle? A rektangle"