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Joke of the Day

"""They say you should dress for the job you want..."" ""Then why the fuck are you naked?!?"" ""Because I want a blow job"""

"*as girl walks in* 98, 99, *grunts* 100 ""Wow, push-ups?"" Uhm, no? Just learning to count."

"What do you call the Irish guy who always brings flan to the potluck? Shaun O'flanagan"

"There are two types of people in this world 1 those who understand bianary and 10 those who don't"

"My parents just got their first computer. Nigeria, go easy on my inheritance."

"What's the difference between a fridge and a vagina? A fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat."

"Hell hath no fury like a toddler wants to ""do it herself."" Three hours later, I'm still waiting for her to get out of the car."

"When the cat sits on my head, my shadow looks like Batman."

"Girl: How much is a soft drink ? Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill ? Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill."

"A girl melon... ...is in love with a boy melon. When her father finds out they want to get married he tells her ""I'm sorry honey, but you cantaloupe"""