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Joke of the Day

"A lion walks the desert and sees an armored knight. ""Oh no, not canned meat again!"""

"You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation."

"Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: ""Don't Walk."""

"Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?"

"Check up time. I've just been for my 6 month check up and everything seem to be going well until he slipped his finger in to check my prostate. I will not be using that dental practise again."

"What's a slut's favorite color? Whorange"

"A Massachusetts man was arrested for illegally keeping over 400 birds in his home. He tried to keep it a secret, but he couldn't keep the birds from tweeting about it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road... Because he wanted to say hello from the other side"

"JUDGE: put ur hand on this book and promise not to lie PERSON WHO IS IN COURT LITERALY FOR LYING ABOUT THINGS: uh...... ok"

"The Great Spam Recycler"