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Joke of the Day

"Breaking News ..... international womans day postsponed until tomorrow , as they haven't got anything to wear"

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory! I only took a day off!"

"What's the difference between fire and water? Everything, dumbass"

"I've come a long way since attaching a big jet propeller to my sperm duct"

"My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the cheese slices in their sandwiches"

"What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral? Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door"

"Control this is astronaut Douglas sending transmission from the Milky Way..we have no signs of chocolate..or caramel..I'd like to come home"

"I get bummed out when I end up being on time but I'd worked up a really solid ""why I'm late"" story."

"I was gonna tell a pedophile joke but I always come in a little behind."

"My dad just called because he was thinking of me & loves me. And THAT'S why I never danced on a pole. Well, that and I got too dizzy."